Why is My Brain So Foggy?
A Difficult End of Year
A friend of mine recently questioned if she was searching correctly, as she no longer receiving my new posts on Substack. I had to admit that I haven’t been sharing as of late. My apologies for missing in action but it’s been a difficult two and a half months. No matter how many times I’ve sat down to write, I ended up eventually closing my laptop with only a few words on the page.
Anyone who’s ever spoken with me know that I’m not usually at a loss for words. According to Gallup’s Strengths Finder online test that I took several years ago, some of my most notable talents include the abilities to empathize and connect with others. While I’ve always had the capacity to put myself in someone’s else’s shoes, to have compassion and be open to differences, I’m thinking that maybe I haven’t given myself the same grace. I’ve expected myself to be strong and just keep going, no matter what.
When you look back at 2024, have there been moments of grief and heartache in which you only gave yourself a moment to acknowledge and then you put on your strong face and going? Did you allow yourself the same kindness, care, and support that you may have offered to someone else?
Some of us have endured the pain of letting go of our childhood homes that we grew up in, with years of happy memories inside those walls. My siblings and I sold our parents’ home this year. We’ve eaten countless Thanksgivings and Christmases there, had many family members and friends spend the night, played in the backyard or down the street or at friends’ homes, visited our nearby park to swing and play ball, walked to our school bus stop and bought candy at our neighborhood store. We watched our parents grow old there and gathered for years after, to eat, sing Karaoke, play games, dance, laugh, and share memories. How I miss that old house and gathering spot.
Some of us have said goodbye to friends. I said goodbye to three girlfriends this year, one moved far away, and the others passed away. One after another.
Even more difficult, some of us have said goodbye to loved ones. In the past two months, I’ve called friends to let them know that my brother passed in October. To my surprise, one lost her mother four days after my brother left and another lost her adult daughter, an only child. During the same time, my sister had several close friends who lost either a husband or a child.
Today, I spoke with a friend who, despite the holiday season, was not feeling so merry. This time of year brings memories of all those close to her that are no longer in her life, her parents, a sibling, and others. She was thinking of the holidays they had together that are no longer possible. What a lonely thought that conjures for many of us.
“Grief is the price you pay for love.” Queen Elizabeth
If I haven’t depressed you by now, I hope I’ve helped you give yourself a little empathy, if you find yourself feeling sad or lonely at the end of this year. Don’t be hard on yourself and take the time you need to give yourself a little love and care. Be patient with yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel.
As I was trying to figure out why I’ve been having such a hard time writing, I researched to find out if it could be related to grief. Grief can affect memory, cognition, and the ability to focus on everyday tasks. While some may find getting out of bed, taking time for personal hygiene, eating, going outside, and others tasks difficult, mine has been the ability to concentrate long enough to finish a story. I’m grateful that I’ve finally finished this one.
If you’re feeling melancholy or alone this season, know that you are not alone. I hope that soon you’ll find more to smile about than be sad. I look forward to sharing with you in the coming months. Thank you for your patience.
Wishing you joy and hope in 2025.
If you need support, there are numerous websites, podcasts, grief groups, and other resources that may prove beneficial. Find resources at local churches, Salvation Army, and various websites, i.e. www.whatsyourgrief.com, www.grief.com, www.aarp.org, www.betterhelp.com
Hi Jackie, it has been a difficult year of 2024. We also experienced a grieving period. Which you were aware of. In July of 2024 my mom loss her husband of 40 plus years. Which was my stepdad. That was a rough patch. And at the end of year my three sweet friends which are Sister's loss their brother 😢 I too was grieving with them Jackie, your brother made a big impact on many of our lives. I'm so to have met him. Such a all around smooth, calm dude. Glad you're writing again. Missed your articles. Love reading them. May each of us have a blessed and prosperous year for 2025.
I totally relate to this. Foggy brain and all, the health of my husband this year has been overwhelming. Its not getting better in 2025 as we look to downsize our residence and eliminate half of our possessions to do so. This was not in my plans when we moved to this house 6 years ago. And we got hit with Hurricane Helene that we are trying to still recover from. Insurance was great until it depreciated some needed repairs. So stress builds daily. Thank God for His grace. I always enjoy reading your posts.